Nice to Meet You (and Yes, I Am Willing to Lie About How We Met)

Updated: Sep 1, 2018


Let’s be honest here: we all are a bit lazy asses when it comes to meeting new people. The reasons may be multiple, you work all day and immediately go to bed, you always go to the same pub with the same group of friends, or you are simply not a people person. God bless dating apps for this: everyone finds time to swipe, apparently Millennials spend over 10 hours a week on Tinder-related apps. This practice has become very common, and many are grateful for it: why waiting for Prince(ss) Charming that who knows, might even be short and fat, when we can swipe left or right? And fair enough, nothing wrong with that. In fact, they even say the chances to find the one in a night out in London are around three in a million, so nothing bad in trying to increase the data in your favour.

I myself, from time to time, download new dating apps and start swiping. And the fun fact is that I surprise myself explaining to my mates how, actually, this app is ‘nothing like Tinder, but waaay more meaningful’. But who am I kidding? It is a dating app: it shows pictures of a person, and values (almost) only the look of her/him (making you believe that you find a great match when you share something in common from a line description). I totally agree with people who consider this extremely superficial. It is indeed, but one of the reasons why you are on a dating app, most probably, is to boost your confidence. And it doesn’t matter whether you are going to meet or even message this person, but don’t tell me that doesn’t make you feel good. So blame it on the society, blame it on the culture or whatever else, but why would you feel ashamed of something that makes you feel better and doesn’t hurt anyone?

Next, you can find my short guide for dating apps: if you, like me, are trying to get ahead of this new way of dating, put your glasses on and take notes of the following.


Tinder

THE dating app. Full of sex-buddies-to-be, happy to start the conversation with a very inappropriate sexual request and to send you a pic of their penises. If you are lucky, they might send you a pic of their dogs first (apparently, it’s a trend).

Yes if: you feel comfortable with non-meaningful sex.

No if: you want to increase the opportunity of a date that doesn’t end with ‘can I come to your place?’


Bumble

Let’s empower women! How? Make it necessary for them to start a conversation if they like a guy. Women, unless you are looking for another lady, don’t get your hopes up, he can’t text you first. In my opinion, this is nothing but killing a symptom of the problem: if you don’t feel empowered to talk or text a guy, I’m not so sure an app that forces you to do so will empower you in the future.

Yes if: you want to give a try to this ‘wearing the pants’ situation.

No if: you don’t spend a lot of time on dating apps and you don’t have time to check them every day, since the matches expire after 24h if you don’t start a conversation.


Happn

Little change of rules: with this app, you can meet the people around you at the moment, instead of boringly swiping from home.

Yes if: you are very shy and don’t know how to start a conversation. Note that the other person might or might not have a profile.

No if: well, to be honest, if your tongue doesn’t stop working every time you speak with someone new you like, why don’t you try to raise your hand from your smartphone when you are in the tube?


Hinge

Apparently for more meaningful relationships, on Hinge you will need to upload six pictures and answer three questions (you can choose which ones).

Yes if: you want to make a more serious connection, asking about something they do want to talk about.

No if: you are looking for a one-night stand.


OkCupid

Honestly, it took me ages to fill the profile. The more questions you answer (divided by categories), the more the percentage of compatibility is accurate. Of course, this percentage is excluding the look of the person and the vibes she/he gives you.

Yes if: you are looking for the one (on paper).

No if: you need something quick and you like to discover things about the other person face to face, not reading it on your smartphone.


In conclusion? Even if you hate the idea on making a profile on any dating app, just know that out there, somewhere, your Prince(ss) Charming has probably joined one already, and it is now your job to find her/him. And most importantly, do not worry: she/he will definitely agree on lying about how you two met.


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